Today I went the famous Five Guys burgers. Let me start with the hype before I critique the food.
Its been written up in some magazines. They were all over their walls but I was distracted by the huge barrels of peanuts so I didn’t see who they were. Apparently, one was a Cheap Eats article from the Washingtonian (DC, not W-state). People on the street (literally) have said its the ‘best’ burger you’re gonna eat.
Someone told me that the first NY location was on Montague Street in Brooklyn. There is stiff competition on the strip. Its a really trendy patch of the borough that leads up to the Promenade. Discerning shoppers and diners. Manhattanites even break out their passports to venture over and check it out. I’ll take that as a good recommendation. If you want to find one near you, they have a website where you can search.
I didn’t have to do that since, they recently opened one up near my office and there hasn’t been a week that’s gone by where someone hasn’t mentioned it. “The Fries! Oh, the fries!” Then.. “The Lines!” “ I’m never going because of the droves of people in there!” …And “the burgers!” and so on.
What was with this place? Do I need to check it out?
I’m on a diet (of sorts), and I’m not generally a ‘I have to have a burger’ kinda person - no, I won’t.
Fast forward to today. By the time I realized that I needed to go grab lunch, it was around 1 pm. I started walking south and I get to 44th and think, hey, I think that burger place is near here. Maybe I will try it out. I couldn’t recall the name but started looking online on my blackberry … Something about ‘guys’ – 2 guys? I found Five Guys but only in B’klyn and Hoboken. I’m not going there. I’m hungry now, and only get an hour for lunch.
Which put me on a mission – so I called my boss, who is home, sick, can barely speak and - 2 days ago (when she first fell ill and had to stay home) – told me she only has oatmeal in her house. I know, I know – its sorta cruel to ask her, right? I’m on a mission!
Turns out, it was right in front of me! Lol. I couldn’t have missed it. Really. Vibrant red wind doors with FIVE GUYS imprinted in white, sticking out from the front of the building. I stand in line with only 2 people in front of me. (Good so far!) There are a ton of people in there. They are all just waiting for their food to cook. Icheck out their limited menu. Turns out its literally burgers, fries and hot dogs.
I love hot dogs and all the mysterious, unidentifiable products that are shoved in them. No amount of ‘pigs hooves’ or ‘spinal cords’ discussions will turn me off of them. Stop trying. Really. You’re only grossing yourself out, not me.
I order the hot dog (with ketchup, mustard, diced onions and jalapenos) but I think, that’s not gonna fill me up – ONE hot dog? So they had a $3 mini-burger. That sounds like a little slider. I get that. Then I ordered 2 orders of fries: regular and cajun. I’m not a huge fries fan and but everyone was going on about them, and wanted to check it out, and thought I’d just share them with whoever was eating lunch in the office conference room.
Finally getting to the review part…
The mini-burger is a total misnomer. Its the size of a regular burger – like you’d get at home. Larger than a Mickey D’s, but not huge. The Regular burger is gigantor size (to me) with TWO beef patties. They offer cheese and plain. Then all of their toppings are added – free.
The burger was cooked perfectly for my taste, not too well done – middle pink but not bloody. Sesame bun. Perfect amount of condiments so that they don’t overpower the food. Grilled on a well used griddle that clearly sees a lot of activity during a day. Delicious.
I couldn’t find a shot of the ‘Little Burger’, but here is a shot of the ‘Regular’ burger:
Regular Burger
Admittedly, I only ate one bite and gave the rest to one of the late comers to the lunchroom. She loved it. I don’t know if she was even hungry coming in, but she ate it all. And the fries. Based on her, I’d say: 2 thumbs up! 
The hot dog. Ahhhh the hot dog. Also grilled. It is split in half, lengthwise, then grilled until the split side is crunchy. Its laid, open into the bun and your toppings (again free) are sidled up beside them. The bun is very fresh as well.
Hot Dog with Relish
This is why I didn’t eat the burger. Partly cuz I was full, partly cuz I didn’t want to spoil the taste of the dog in my mouth. It was one of the best hot dogs I’ve ever had. And I’ve had a Toronto Street dog. (Anyone who’s had one knows what I’m talking about).
The fries. I thought they were good. But these girls in the office all had definite opinions about them. They had very specific opinions about fries in general. Fat, American steak fries vs. skinny pomme-frites. McDonald’s vs. Irish pub. They all had a preference. I don’t love them enough to have much of an opinion either way.
These came in an 8 oz cup that overflowed so much that at least 1/2 of the fries stayed in the bag. It was the largest order of fries I’ve seen. Remember I got 2 orders – one for me and one for the office to share. I could barely dent a 1/4 of an order after the hot dog. Holy cow, you get your money’s worth.
Cajun: were tasty, a bit too salty for my taste and I didn’t care for the excessive amount of powdery flavorings on it. It was too messy. Taste-wise, they were good and spicy. Now, I do like that.
Cajun Fries
The regular fries: much better, less salty. And now, I’m going to let the girls in the office tell you about those.
- Regular Fries
“THAT’s what I’m talking about when I said fries!”
“Mmmmm”
” “ (Silence as the pregnant one ate a cupful on her own).
Those were the highlights. Overall, everyone liked them. Some loved them and may have made a shrine to them.
Oh, they also had veggie burgers. Didn’t try those.
Bottom line: loved the hot dogs, burgers good. Fries – regular: great; cajun: messy and salty. Go late in the lunch day or stand in a really long line.
But, you judge for yourself.
Note: As I was writing this, I visited the site to collect the links. The building looked familiar. I think I went here in Fredricksburg, VA years ago. I didn’t get the hot dogs then because they told me I HAD to get the burger. If we go back, I’ll definitely get the dog.
